Sunday, July 29, 2007

Rolling in the dirt with my ragamuffin

Yesterday, Saturday, Brent and I both had the day off and wanted to celebrate his acceptance to the RCMP. We took the boys to White Rock Beach for the day, and it was very funny because we dressed in long pants and socks and shoes because the clouds were dark and grey, with little sprinkles of rain every now and then. We brought shorts for ourselves because it was humid and a bit warm, but none for the boys (duh), nor sunscreen, nor sandles...famous last actions, dumbasses!!! There were totally clear, blue skys and warm temperatures in White Rock. Anyways, we still had a blast! Our first action was to buy ice cream! What day trip is complete without ice cream? Then we walked along the beach for a bit, turning rocks in search of crabs, and throwing stones in the waves. The sea wall was busy but fun, and we trekked to the official "white rock" for which the city is named, and both boys tried to climb it, and gathered collectable rocks and sticks to take home with us. The walk to the pier took several hours because we had to stop and investigate every interesting or not so interesting attraction along the way, and watch the trains go by, and check for crabs. Ayden held a crab about the size of my thumb for the first time! Until now he has been too afraid to do more than look at them from a safe distance. We also watched some crab trappers and fishermen on the pier for a bit. It is so wonderful to watch your kids watch something fascinating, and discover the world anew with such sparkling eyes and fresh innocence.
We then explored the town for a good place to eat and found a pub that had a kids' menu and some great looking seafood, and had a good healthy meal. The temptation in White Rock is to default to fish and chips, so we were proud of ourselves for hunting down healthy (for us: the boys had fish and chips). On our way back Ayden and Brent had to run back a few blocks to the beach public bathroom (stinky, stinky), so Matthew and I played at the white rock for a bit. We discovered that Matthew thinks it is HILARIOUS to roll down the hill while hanging onto my torso with his legs, and neck with his arms~I have to roll on my elbows so I don't squish him. It was so fun! We rolled down the hill dozens of times, laughing hysterically. We also played Monster Tag~ which is like regular tag but the person who is 'it' is a monster and must act really scary. Who is 'it' is rather arbitrary, and doesn't really coincide with who catches whom. The grass was green, the sun was setting, the waves were rolling in, and I was rolling around in fits of laughter with Matthew snuggled up to me. Could it get any better than that? What a blissful day! Matthew and me now have this relationship that continues to astound me with its depth and joy; every month since we adopted him I have noticed some major improvement or sign of deeper attachment, and now we are at the point where we are so relaxed and assured that I've been able to enjoy his company more than ever before. This time last year I would have said the same, or similar, but now it is so much more so! We hardly think of him as adopted now, and often forget that he 'looks' different to the outside world, and feel as deeply for him as we feel for Ayden. This may come as a surprise, but not all adoptive parents fall in love with their children instantly, and the love takes time to increase in intensity so it matches what you have with your previous children. Are we alone in this? I doubt it. Are we alone in admitting it? Thus far, yes! I'm so, so, so happy to be boisterously rolling around in the dirt, getting sticks and grass and possibly poop in my hair while playing with my kid; realizing an adoption dream that was birthed many years ago, and fostered by us before we were even married. The dream had a lot of happy in it.

Ice cream


noisy train


Louise said...

Love the visual of you and Matthew rolling down the hill! Also, appreciate the honestly in the area of the growth of love for a child, whether adopted or biological. I think its really important for people to realize they are not alone!

Dawn and Dale said...

WOW!! That sounds like a really great day!!!

I didn't get a chance to thank you yet for your encouraging words on my blog the other day!!

Thank you sooo much!! I barely know you and you're always soooo kind and wonderful to me!!

I'm blessed to have found you on here!!

Roboseyo said...