So there is this street in Chilliwack named Spadina Avenue (pronounced spa-dye-na) that always makes me think of spumoni flavoured ice cream, and the word vagina. Every time dispatch asks for our location and we're anywhere near Spadina Avenue, it throws them for a loop because when we say "Spadina" on the radio it sounds like vagina. They ALWAYS ask us to repeat it.
Don't ask me where spumoni comes from; I don't know.
On a different note, has anyone else noticed how some strangers consider it their business to evaluate your parenting to your face in the guise of safety?
"Do you really think he should be eating that hard candy? My kids always choked on hard candies like that."
"I don't feel safe having your child sit in the buggy without the child restraint fastened." (Then please ensure that the child restraints are fully functional. If your store was truly concerned they would check all the restraints in all the carts on a regular basis and FIX the broken restraints. Besides, Ayden is four. He doesn't need the restraint any more)
"Don't put your baby there because he can reach the conveyer belt." (he's three. Not a baby, and I have my eye on him thank you very much)
"Did you know that grapes are a choking hazard?"
"Is that your little boy at the top of the jungle gym? He's making me sweat!" (this one is semi legitimate because Matthew is so small he looks younger than his age, and he is a terrific climber, ahead of his developmental age in that category)
"Are you watching him?" (my eyes are looking straight at my kid)
"It's dangerous to let your kids climb trees." (??????)
"Abby, stay away from the boys. They are playing too rough." (not too rough)
"Don't let your kids run on the sidewalk because it is slippery." (you're not concerned about their safety, you are concerned about your store's liability)
"You should put him in a stroller when you go to the mall. That way he won't get lost." (this one was weird. Matthew was holding my hand in the mall, quietly walking beside me)
"Candy is no good for their teeth, you know. My husband is a dentist." (Congratulations. Go away)
Parenting advice is always welcome when I have a warm, personal relationship with you and I respect your opinion. Otherwise, keep your trap shut.
If you see my kid is in danger and I'm NOT paying attention, please stick your nose in--then I appreciate it!!
I got sick of a few repeated phrases when I was pregnant, too:
"Oh, your life is about to change FOREVER!"
"Enjoy your sleep now because you'll never sleep again afterwards!" (like any pregnant woman can sleep in the last 3 months of pregnancy)
"You're about to pop!"
"You are huge!"
"You must be due any day now!" (nope. Weeks and weeks to go.)
"Make sure you get your baby to take a bottle as soon as possible after it's born."
"Is it a boy or a girl?" (why, oh why do we want to stick kids in gender boxes at the earliest possible date?)
or, alternatively, "You're having a __________. I can tell by the way you are carrying."
Same as above; if you have a relationship with me you are allowed to say stuff. If not, buzz off.