We watched 'Into the Wild' last night, a movie based on the true life experience of a young man who purposefully 'disappeared' from his life and family, to travel around the country and search for truth. I had read his story somewhere, seven or eight years ago, and it stuck in my mind as remarkable and curious, so I was looking forward to the movie. It was a remarkable movie with a vast array of locations and characters and events, and the main character, Alexander, was a really amazing person. Almost everyone who got to know him, loved him deeply. He challenged all social constructs in himself and those around him. Eventually he cooked up an Alaskan Adventure; isolate himself in the bush of Alaska with minimal supplies, and live off the land. He was crazy! Crazy, crazy. But, he did it. He succeeded in surviving a winter and spring in the far Northern bush, and tamed some personal demons in the process (he kept journals of all his adventures), but underestimated the power of spring runoff and wound up trapped on the far side of a river to deep and powerful to cross. He decided to wait out the spring rains, found himself entirely without food, and started foraging for edible plants. He mislabeled one of the roots he found and ate it, thinking it was edible, when in fact it was poisonous. He died.
Even though I knew the ending of this adventure before I watched the movie, it still struck me hard. I think because my original reading was a magazine article of some sort, and didn't delve as deeply into his character and his motivating forces, so I didn't become as attached to him. Also, the movie portrayal of his parents was very difficult to watch, as I felt much empathy for their loss when he disappeared, and then later when his body was discovered in Alaska. Suddenly I felt very anxious about the safety of my own children!
So, after getting to bed at 12:30 and drifting off to sleep, Matthew waking me up at 3 was not the greatest. It's now 5:41 and I've not fallen back asleep. I'm tense and anxious. Something going on with my hormones was exacerbated by this (wonderful but sad) movie, and now all I can do is lie in bed and stress about my kids disappearing and/or dying. I'm hungry to boot.
In other news, when Brent got home from work last night at 6:30, I fed him dinner and then escaped to a coffee shop to read and be alone while he put the kids to bed. He was more than happy to give me this leap for freedom, and I'm very grateful! He called me once they were both in bed, and I came back. Oh, happy day! Some days I just need to curl up by myself for a bit.
Oi, how am I going to survive today on 2.5 hours of sleep? Does ANYONE know what is GOING ON in my body at 18 weeks that would beat me up like this? Yikes. Dana? Asheya? C'mon, help a girl out.