Saturday, March 29, 2008

Update

Sorry it has been awhile since I posted. First, there was easter (fabulous! We visited my parents in Vernon), and then my internet connection has been fritzing out so whenever I get on the computer I just get frustrated and turn it off before I actually punch it or something.
Even as I post this I can see blogger trying to save what I'm typing and getting nowhere, so if you are actually reading this consider it miraculous!
Guess what??????????
We're going to Hawaii for a vacation!!!!! :-)
I cooked up this idea near the end of Brent's training in Regina: what if the four of us go to a hot, beachy destination for a much needed, relaxing holiday to enjoy each others' company and have fun? We're a fun loving bunch and we didn't have much fun from August to January this past year. So, let's go make up for it! So we hummed and hawed and researched and talked about it. Brent applied for time off in April and woohoo, it was approved!! We decided I would pay for the trip. So, all my work money has been going into an envelope in our closet, saving up for fun in the sun. We went to book flights and West Jet was having a sale, but their flights were all full. :-( see me pout. But we hung in there, open to the possibility of just going to Vancouver Island for a week or something instead, but PRAISE JESUS folks, Hawaiian Air had a seat sale and we're off to Maui for 8 days April 16th to the 23rd. WAHOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! We found a nice condo across the street from the beach. We bought tickets for a luau. We found an underwater aquarium to take the boys to. We rented a car. I'm a wiggly worm when I think about it all! We're going to have SO MUCH FUN!!
Ayden and I spent 1/2 hour today exchanging knock knock jokes.

ME: knock, knock
A: who's there?
ME: We
A: we who?
ME: WE'RE GOING TO HAWAII!!!

A: my turn. knock, knock
ME: who's there?
A: bum bum
ME: bum bum who?
A: bum bum squirrel who had poo on his face!!

I look forward to the day when we can have more intellectual conversations.

I was doing some laundry this evening (what evening don't I do laundry? Jeesh) and thinking about how CALM things are now that Brent is back. I always knew how wonderful he was, and how much he held us all together, but to actually experience his absence for a long period of time really drove home how integral he is to our daily functioning. It would, of course, be just as disastrous if I went away, but as the mom you sort of harbour a suspicion that it really is you who is the glue. Dad's great, but really, when push comes to shove it's me who is imperative.
Isn't that terrible? But it hovered there in my semi-conscious. Now I know we share the 'imperative' factor with equal strength. My husband is exceptionally well gifted in the area of relationships. He is a calming force for all of us (you know, when he's not pushing my buttons), and it was evident tonight when Ayden cheerfully said goodnight at bedtime and rolled over to fall asleep with no protest, no clingyness, no screaming, no excuses, no begging....just, goodnight. All is right with the world.
Of course, earlier today I wanted to kill him for screaming at me to put more syrup on his waffles like I was some kind of semi human slave put on earth to do his bidding and be treated like a cow. It was in his best interest for me to lock myself in my bedroom for 10 minutes or so, and that I did.
Half an hour later he was voluntarily cleaning the living room.
He offered to hold Matthew in the rocking chair and rock him to make one of Matthew's owies disappear.
He kissed my baby belly goodnight at bedtime.
He pranced around my bed reciting The Lorax while I read it to him.

How can one small boy be so infuriating and so wonderful all in one day?
I'm SO GLAD I have boys (and now let's bring on some girls).

Today we walked 4.5 km round trip to a nearby park. It was COLD (only 4 degrees!) but not raining, and beautiful. Spring has sprung. Some trees are blooming and there is tons of greenery everywhere. We had a great time until the cold got to us and we had to hightail it to a nearby cafe for hot chocolate. On the walk home Matthew tried to pick a blackberry plant and got harshly prickled. He cried for half an hour.
HALF an HOUR, people. This kid has drama stamina.
A couple of times Stu tried reappearing, but I told him to *f* off. I was proud of myself: thirty minutes is a long time to not feel guilty about not being able to fix a prickled finger and some crocodile tears. I warned him that those kind of tiny, stinging prickles last for a long time and that I wouldn't be able to fix it until we got home, and about 10 minutes into the drama Matthew said, "Mommy, my finger hurt LONG TIME!" Yes, and you cry LONG TIME little man!
I'm trying to focus on teaching him empathy, which helps alleviate my frustration with his crying, along with refusing to feel guilty. It is amazing how kids are hard wired for emotional intelligence at this age: the smallest nudging has developed so much empathy in him, which I've seen manifested with Bennett, Ayden, daddy, and myself.

Also, a few times this week Matthew and I have gone out just the two of us, and I really, really enjoy his company. He's such a easy going, happy guy (when he's not in drama stamina mode). The only irritating thing he does is constantly ask for food and treats when we are grocery shopping (he does this when Ayden is around too, and it drives me wild! No bananas. No chocolate. No gum. No popcorn. No ice cream. No pop. Matthew! Stop asking me for food! "Okay. Mommy, me apple?").
He's also a slowpoke but that doesn't seem so irritating when I only have him to look after.

I had an acquaintance and her children over for a playdate Thursday morning. She and her husband adopted their daughter from Thailand a few weeks after we adopted Matthew, and we have quite a few things in common. We both adopted although we don't have fertility issues. We're the same age. We have a biological and an adopted child. We both adopted from Thailand. And we both struggled with GUILT after we brought home our adopted children. We both went through a grieving process after adopting, grieving the pregnancy, birth, infancy, and breastfeeding that we could not share with our adopted child. We both had high maintenance adopted children (her daughter is highly resistant to change, sensitive, and VERY strong willed. Matthew is the drama queen of the century, holds his breath until he faints when angered, tired, or stressed, and pessimistic in nature) that we felt less than able to cope with.
Wow, was it ever nice to share with someone who has been there. It is amazing how knowing someone else who has travelled a similar path can make your experience seem so much more manageable!
We're going to hang out again.

I'm reading a bunch of books. Most notably one on feminist interpretation of the church which I'm really enjoying engaging with.
I've given up on the guitar for the time being and picked up my violin. I volunteered to be a part of one of the worship teams at my church. I haven't played in almost four years! I went to practice tonight and my tuner appears to be past it's lifespan so I'll need to purchase another.
I'm going to sign the boys up for soccer.
I like my job again.
My baby kicks me all the time. But not nearly as often as Ayden did. Being pregnant is about as close as you can get to another human being. It's very cool.
I feel sorry for men because they can't experience it.

That's all for now!
:-)

2 comments:

Louise said...

Hawaii?!!! Wowwee!!!! And you are halfway? Wow. Great stuff, glad all is well.

tamie said...

yippee! you posted! i love reading your blog! double-yippee! hawaii!

hey...when are we going to discuss the book? how far along in reading it are you?