Tuesday, February 3, 2009

missing

I miss grandma kadie. All the time, every day, a thousand things remind me of her. These are the top things that remind me of grandma: jam, grocery shopping, my garden (even under a mountain of snow), winter weather (she hated it--one year when i was small she slipped on the ice and broke her arm, and went to physiotherapy afterward), my kids, cookies, waffles, whipping cream in the container and after it is whipped, walking, holding hands with my kids, anything to do with vegetables, sale items, toilet paper, rye bread, praying before meals, german sausage, saurkraut and perogies, flowers, especially peonies, petunias, geraniums, and roses. Picking fruit in the summer. Raspberries. Carrots, especially from the garden. Those houses that were built in the 50s with the broken glass stucco on top and the wooden siding on the bottom, with hardwood floors all covered in carpet inside. The smell of baking. Crochet. Doilies. Cut crystal.
Every morning I think of her as I make myself tea. And then again when i walk my kids to school. And again while I make dinner. And again while I am falling asleep in my bed and letting my mind wander here and there and back again. And any time I think about or see one of the above memory triggers, also.
I know it's not goodbye, but gosh it hurts to have to wait to see her again.
It hurts, it hurts, it hurts.
I feel better when i think of how happy she must be to be reunited with her baby boy Glen and her husband Julius. It has been a great many years since she was able to be with them.
I miss you, grandma.
xoxo

3 comments:

Janet said...

Precious memories. I love my Grandmas too....it's so nice to hear of another person who had such a wonderful bond with her grandma. :-)

Roboseyo said...

:(
hang in there mel.

love you.

tamie said...

love love love to you.