Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Passive Aggressive #2

Woah! I went to Seattle for three days and come back, and there's been a comment war on my blog!
Love and grace, dear ones.
First of all, I wanted to blog on Sunday to let you know that the day AFTER Matthew fell asleep in the middle of cleaning, Brent asked him to clean up his bedroom and not fifteen minutes into the task, Matthew fell asleep again! I laughed so loud it almost woke him up again.
I am certain that this behaviour IS passive aggressive. It is not hard to picture Matthew stopping in the middle of cleaning or any other unpleasant activity and lying down on the floor to avoid it. And it is not a long leap from lying on the floor to falling asleep. I had a roomate in University who used to take naps to avoid her essays and projects and papers that needed tending. She was the world's most creative procrastinator. Sometimes she dressed up in her fanciest dresses to write papers; partly to make paper writing more interesting, and partly because when one is dressing one obviously cannot be actually WRITING a paper.
Passive aggressive behaviour is not sononymous with spiteful behaviour. I DO get riled up when Matthew is passive aggressive but I don't think his goal is to get me riled up. It is simply to avoid doing what he is asked, which is closer to passive aggressive than to spiteful.
However, that said, I think Alyssa's question is a valid one to ask of a friend: is your assessment of your child's behaviour accurate? Sometimes an outside perspective is refreshing and helpful, especially when your child's behaviour is making you tie knots in your panties out of frustration.
In this particular case my assessment was accurate, but Alyssa has had some incredibly helpful insights into his behaviour and my frustrations in the past, so I always welcome her comments.
Thank you also to Caryn, another very good momma, who is also honest and loving and appropriately frustrated with her child on certain occasions, and to several other friends and readers who emailed me. I love you all. I appreciate your support as I slog through the early years of parenting my energetic and remarkable boys.

kisses and hugs.

And I had fun in Seattle. Although what is up with buying pants after you have a baby? Fuck. Hours of shopping and no pants. What is up with these super short fly pants? And the super low rise waist? I'm sorry, a TOOTHPICK would have muffin top in those. Bring back the normal rise, I say!! No need to cover the bellybutton, but an inch or so below would be great. That way I can tuck my muffin hips into my pant ass where they belong, and not be displaying them for the world of kindergarten parents and preschoolers to see. And shirts? My bra size is 32 F/G. Before you call me Barbie, keep in mind that these are POST children boobs so I could tickle my ankles with my nipples if I were so inclined. I like to call them my 'sand in a tube sock' breasts. They used to be nice. Now they are not. So. Do you think they make shirts for Sand-in-a-Tube-Sock Barbie? No. They do not. Either I buy a shirt that's too big and look pregnant in it, or I buy a shirt that's too small and look like a floozie falling out of her shirt. Option C would be I learn to sew and make my own shirts. Ha! I saw snot fly out of my nose and hit the computer screen on that one.
I bought myself some new shoes to make up for the lack of accomodating shirt and pants sizes. And then I went to Carter's and bought Riley some really cute onesies, and then to Gap and bought him an outfit. If you can't clothe yourself nicely, buy clothes for your child! Next best thing. If I look like a floozie or frumpy prego but my kids look good, at least I can sort of hide behind them or something.
We had a great getaway. I went with my mom and Riley. We visited a friend of mine in Bellingham, got the 'birthing tour,' including her office and the birth centre in town, adn went out for coffee. Very cool. Then we continued on until we hit the Seattle Premium Outlet Mall and shopped as above (my mom was considerably more successful in attaining some clothes). The next day we visited Pike Place Market--dudes! I love this place! It was amazing. We bought fresh, cooked, shelled crab and ate it with spoons. We ate crab and artichoke quesedillas for lunch. We visited the original Starbucks, where I bought myself a STAINLESS STEEL coffee/tea mug after a year of hunting. I got wonderful handmade toys for Ayden and Matthew, and a sweater for Riley. Check out these toys:

The artist can be found here. He makes this ferry that is amazing, and Ayden wants it for his birthday.
I bought myself a bracelet that I LOVE. I will take a photo for you one of these days and post it so you can see. It is beautiful. My mom always wore a bracelet when I was a kid and I have this maternal association with bracelets because of it. I always wanted a really nice one that I wouldn't have to take off, and I have found it! It is silver with a green stone, hand crafted by a woman who sells her jewellery at Pike Place Market. I didn't get her card, unfortunately. I totally should have and I could have posted her website here, if she has one. Well, if I go back someday I'll see if she's still there.
Then we went to the SAM (Seattle Art Museum) for an afternoon visit, perfectly timed as the rainclouds opened up just as we arrived at the doorstep of the museum. Except that the museum is CLOSED ON MONDAYS!!! Such a pain. So we went back to the outlet malls, and visited the museum this morning instead.
Riley was a champion shopper/museum visiter. No complaints. Breastfed discreetly in the ergo without complaint and smiled at people and piles of clothing and pottery in a most charming manner. Napped in there, too.
At the SAM I saw a Rothko, a Pollock, some amazing minimalist stuff, and some fascinating African artifact carvings; some statues of female figures breastfeeding and giving birth were amongst my favourites! I love art.
Then we drove home.
It was lovely to have a mini holiday and spend some quality time with my mom, and to visit Seattle. Pike Place Market is JUST my style.
My mom will email me photos and I will post some.


Asheya said...

This sounds really fun! I am totally having cabin fever in Whitehorse right now - I want to go away somewhere, anywhere, just get me out of here! I'm with you on the pants thing; I just cannot understand which women these pants fit. It must be something like 0.5% of the population.

Louise and Gary Chapman said...

That sounds like such a great getaway!! As for the pants and shirts..I'm with you. Especially the pants. I think i need to go buy a nice pair of shoes too:)

Breanne said...

Wow, great mini trip! I am so jealous. I went to Seattle last summer for one night but it was for a stagette, so there wasen't much touristy stuff planned. I'd so love to go back for a real tour of the city.

PS: I have given up on buying jeans altogether. :)

jenna said...

I love your writing! I don't laugh out loud while reading very often. But if I do it's probably while I'm reading your blog. You so accurately describe things moms feel in a very blunt and hilarious way...

jenna said...

I love your writing! I don't laugh out loud while reading very often. But if I do it's probably while I'm reading your blog. You so accurately describe things moms feel in a very blunt and hilarious way...

Anonymous said...

I hate, I mean HATE, shopping for pants.