Friday, May 22, 2009

Mom Guilt

Parenting comes with a heavy dose of guilt. I have often felt guilty about the fact that I don't homeschool my children, because it is such a wonderful way to live out attachment parenting, and statistically is superior to traditional schooling. I have come to peace with my final decision, but it was a difficult struggle for awhile, and I still feel anxious with my friends who do homeschool; will they judge me? Do they understand that I was thoughtful about my decision to send my kids to public school? Do they think I can't possibly be an attachment parent and NOT homeschool my kids?

There are myriad ways of interpreting the term Attachment Parenting, and many, many ways to act upon it. Parents who don't breastfeed, cosleep, babywear, stay at home full time, the issue of spanking, etc, etc. I fear sometimes we get too dogmatic in our quest for the best way to raise our babies to be ethical, caring, responsible adults. There is no one BEST way to raise our children, but rather many GOOD ways, provided there is a focus on attachment fostering behavior, and making thoughtful, intentional parenting choices.

Here is a really good article on this subject, of the dangers of dogma. I would copy and paste the article, but I see that Kellymom.com has reprinted the article with permission from the author, which I don't have. So instead I will link it. It is definitely a great article and helps remind us that AP is a style, not a specific method.

1 comment:

Breanne said...

Wow. That was a really good article. I'm glad it said what it said because,

A: Jacob and I went thru hell/tears/pain, for 3 months trying to breastfeed with no success.

B: He WOULD not sleep in my bed as a baby. Needed his own room with his own crib and zero distractions.

C: Never, ever liked being worn in a sling/snugli. He would just squirm and fuss until put down.

But luckily I have been able to be at home with him for the first 3 years of his life and I know without a doubt I put my child before anything else and I strive for that close bond. And I only aim to teach him to be respectful, kind, caring, loving and try my best not to "police" him.

Thanks for the article, Melissa!