Saturday, June 20, 2009
Mama bear meets Mama bear
I've encountered this dilemma several times this week, and it is one that only happens when you have more than one child. One of my children does something that hurts another of my children, and my Mama bear protective instinct comes out ready to pounce, and encounters itself protecting the instigator. So weird. Yesterday Ayden neglected to close the baby safety gate at the bottom of our stairs and in an instant while I wasn't looking, Riley climbed partway up and came crashing back down, smashing his head against the gate at the bottom. Did I want to KILL Ayden? Mama bear withholds full disclosure on that one, but suffice it to say I didn't, because I have a Mama bear instinct for Ayden, too. I managed to control my voice but be decidedly disciplinary in my tone as I admonished Ayden to CLOSE THE GATE OTHERWISE THE BABY FALLS DOWN THE STAIRS. I knew he wouldn't need much disciplining anyways; he felt aweful.
Then the other day I overheard Matthew asking Ayden for a bite of his apple. Ayden said no. Matthew said, "But you shared a bite with mommy!" Ayden's response? "But I grew in mommy's tummy so we have the same germs. You are adopted so your germs are gross."
HeLLO?!?!!! Where the #@#$%^&*^% did you get THAT from? Mama bear was ferocious. Inside. I didn't want to make it a big deal in Matthew's mind, though I certainly bit that one in the bud. Or I hope so. I told Ayden it wasn't acceptable and that it hurt Matthew's feelings, but I still want to have a chat with him when Matthew isn't around to reenforce the whole adoption-pain-integration-forever-family-no-matter-how-we-got-here-inclusion-sensitivity thing. I haven't had a chance yet, because Matthew's always around! We'll have a chat. I just need to find some private space with Ayden where a conversation can organically grow so he can truly listen.
The only thing that saved Ayden from Mama bear in both cases was that I happen to be Mama bear to him, too.
p.s. no further news on Little Vose yet, and no pictures. Soon to come!