Thanks, friends. I started crying in the bra store today because my 3 kids were so bad. They were all over the store. Riley repeatedly ran into the stock room at the back of the store. Matthew was running between the racks and screaming at the top of his lungs, and Ayden was throwing a fit because he was asking me a question and didn't understand my answer. I was running through the store from the change room, holding an undone bra to my chest, dashing past other customers with my bare back flashing, into the stockroom to retrieve Riley, and out to the storefront to manhandle Matthew. He spent the rest of the trip sitting on the floor of my changeroom [except for when I would mad dash after a re-escaped Riley, and Matthew would attempt his escape]. I was sweating. I was tired. I needed a bra for my return to work which is NOT a nursing bra, but fits nursing boob sizes.
I have to shop in a specialty store because my bra size is so weird, so I always shop at this store for bras, and always pay a fortune, but it is SO worth it to have contained boobs. Seriously. The trip, and the tears, and the chaoticembarrassinggongshow children, were SO worth the bra I got. And the $115 I paid for it. [the first bra that fit properly was $165 before tax. I said, 'I'm really sorry, but do you have something similar that is cheaper?' Do any of YOU know a mom who can spend $165 on a single bra and not feel like she's taking food out of her childrens' mouths? That's an entire fortnight of groceries. 4 tanks of gas. 16 packages of little boy underwear. 18 of the designer soothers [pacifiers, for you Americans] I use. 165 items at the dollar store. Three pairs of really good kids' shoes! But $115 I can do, and feel like I'm okay]. Normal bra stores just don't carry my size, so the $20 bra variety just isn't an option, so I usually have one or two good, expensive bras and take really good care of them.
But I did cry. And the sales clerk had to ask me if I was okay. And I was sweating. Like, dripping. You know how sometimes you KNOW crying is just going to make you feel more embarrassed but the thought of that just makes you cry MORE?
Things I accomplished today (for the record, since I need to record it or I'll feel like all I did was flounder around crying and sweating today):
-I shopped for a bra (with all 3 kids, by myself) and found one that works excellently
-I made a very good dinner
-I didn't yell at anyone today
-I was patient
-I was calm
-I registered Ayden for Hip Hop/Funk dance camp next week
-I went to booty camp
-I went for coffee with a friend
-I bathed and read to 3 small, tired, hyper boys, by myself, and brushed their teeth
-I watered the front garden and my tomato plant
So, today: gong show, accomplished some stuff, fought anxiety.