Frustrated, frustrated

Yesterday was hard for me. All day I was anxious, and battling it, and sometimes losing, and being cranky. Yesterday it was the fact that I'm going back to work next Monday. Any transition is hard--for example, when we go camping or to Osoyoos or on any trip, the first night I'm always anxious, and by the second night I've settled in and feel fine again. But with this kind of transition, walking back into a station I've not worked at in over a year, knowing the kind of interpersonal gymnastics that are required in the boys' club environment I work in [being a girl who works in a 'masculine' profession, I speak boys' club, but it is my second language], knowing we are on strike and that I'm out of the loop as per what is required or not required, job action and not job action, knowing the kind of responsibility entailed in my job itself, and knowing it will be hard for Riley when I leave for 12 hours, I'm REALLY anxious.
Now EI has paid me $280 less than they have been paying me all year, and I have no idea why. I'm nearing the end of my maternity leave but I thought my last pay day was the 25th, so why would my second-to-last paycheque be half my regular paycheque? Does this mean my last pay day is NOT the 25th, but rather today? If that's the case we're going to experience a serious crunch the beginning of September. And if that's the case, why would the clerk at the HRDC office have stood accross the desk and TOLD me the 25th of August was my last pay day? How are we going to get through? And why on earth does it always feel like everything dumps down on me at once? I'm already anxious, and now I have money [amongst other things] to worry about too. And why is my last paycheque LESS than my regular ones?
I spent several hours yesterday making peach jam, and half of it didn't set. The boys were fabulous while I made jam; Matthew put the peaches in hot water for me, I peeled them, Ayden cut out the pits and put the peaches in the food processer and turned it on when it was full. They cut my prep time in half, which is NICE! Until now enlisting their 'help' has generally slowed down my progress in the kitchen. But yesterday, it actually HELPED! Even with Riley weaving between our feet and climbing on a chair and picking up a wooden spoon and stirring the jam for us and flinging fruit all over the kitchen--it was still faster than doing it alone! So great. And the jam is SO PRETTY!!! I was really proud of it (my first time doing peach jam), until I discovered this morning that half of it didn't set. I wasn't surprised, because I forgot to put the pectin in until after I put the sugar in (fatal error), but I was hoping it would still work.
It can be reprocessed, but it takes time!
So, though yesterday was an anxious battle, the jamming was fun.
And, though today is turning out to be an anxious battle as well, I'll make it through. We just have to keep on trucking!

Yesterday was our 7th anniversary! I want to do a separate post for that one...hopefully I'll have time later!

And, pictures are still to come, promise!