Saturday, February 6, 2010

Further thoughts on midwifery school and childcare

Thanks for all your comments about my wrestling with childcare issues while I go to school!! Such good discussions. And I'm really thinking that if this happens, a part time nanny would meet our needs so much better than daycare. You guys are so cool, thanks for your input!! I actually feel tons better about leaving my kids with a nanny than in a daycare centre. I've left my kids in daycare before, and felt good about it, mainly because they were not there too often, except for that 6 month period when Brent was in training. Another reason was that I really loved the woman who provided daycare for us. She was very nurturing and kind, and it was at her house and had a family atmosphere and feel. I could drop by anytime, always welcome, and often stayed around to chat for an hour when I picked them up. But you know, it's still not home, and there are still between two and five other kids there at the same time, and stuff. A nanny sounds like a fabulous choice.

My cousin Tonya asked a really good question regarding my choice of timing. She asked, why don't I wait a few years before I go to school so my kids are older and better able to care for themselves after school? I have several answers for this. The first one is that as I'm sure you will all remember, I am an ANTICIPATORY WORRYWART. My mind goes down every future possible road and ferrets out potential hardships or difficulties and loses sleep while trying to find a solution. I don't even know if I have a remote chance of getting into midwifery school and thus if I will even NEED child care. So most of this anticipatory worrywart behaviour pertains to the possibility of me being accepted for admission this coming fall. That's a pretty big 'if.' Several hundred applicants, for ten spots.
The second thing is related to the first, in that I wasn't sure what timing would best fit my life or God's plans, so I figured I would apply and see what happens. God can't open a door we don't walk over to! I figured it was better to apply and turn it down or be turned down than to not apply and just sit and wonder.
The third is that I am burning out of my current job NOW. I can definitely hang in there for a few more years, but I really need to be working on an exit strategy in order not to feel bogged down and trapped. Having some sort of job really helps my state of mind, particularly as a parent, so quitting without another job or training lined up could be a negative situation for me. A day or two per week at work helps me appreciate and enjoy parenting so much, mostly because it is a break in routine. I guess I could apply for a different type of job under my same employer, or I could do something else altogether? Those are possibilities.
The fourth answer I have for the question of waiting is a geographical one. We don't love living where we live. It is busy, noisy, large, congested, expensive, smoggy, and very urban. Our ultimate goal is to move away from here, preferably to Vancouver Island or the Okanagan. But midwifery school is here. I mean, not HERE here, but within a commutable distance. So it would be nice to go to school now and move sooner rather than later. Especially because midwife graduates willing to move to other parts of the province are being offered partial student loan forgiveness as incentive.
And the fifth and final answer is also a pretty significant one. It pertains to working hours. It has definitely occurred to me that having Ayden be a teenager will be a big help when it comes to child care. But here's the kicker: Brent works 12 hour shifts. I can see asking a 12 or 13 year old kid to help look after their younger siblings for a few hours after school. But Brent works until either 6 or 7 p.m., depending on the week, which means he gets home at 7 or 8 p.m., IF he gets off on time. That would mean significant responsibility for Ayden, including dinner, homework, and possibly some bedtime preparation. The other end of that spectrum is that Brent leaves for work at either 5 or 7 a.m., so that would mean even more significant responsibility for Ayden, including getting everybody up for the day, breakfast, getting ready for school, and getting people to their classrooms on time. That is too much to expect even of a seventeen year old, I think, let alone a 12 or 13 year old. I mean, the vast majority of the time this type of responsibility wouldn't be necessary, but for three months of a time it could be, if I were placed in a clinical that was far away. And even if I were placed in a clinical that was local, I could be at a birth for a day or two at a time, maybe even more than once a week. It would depend upon how busy my clinical placement practice was. So, waiting until Ayden is old enough to help out doesn't really solve that problem adequately.
Not that I'm not willing to wait. If waiting is what God has in mind, I'm on board! I just figured I would try now, and see what happens!
Or maybe God has other plans altogether. I trust Him! Well, when I'm not anticipatory worrywarting.....

Definitely good things to wrestle with and talk about. Thanks for all your input, friends. [Keep inputting too, if you have more you would like to say!!!]


Tonya said...

Good answers! :-) It is good to know your thinking.

Rachel Clear said...

Very good answers.

And man, how crazy is it to think that you'll be the mom of a TEENAGER one day?!

Asheya said...

I think you are totally right about giving God an opportunity to make/not make things happen right now. There are always going to be pros and cons to going to midwifery school, even when the kids are older as you pointed out. If you get in, I really hope you find a great nanny, as I think that would be perfect!

We are thinking of the Okanagan (in particular Vernon but we still have to check it out) as a potential destination if we decide to stay in Canada, so maybe we'll end up in the same place! Do you know if there are any cool churches in Vernon (by cool I mean community focussed, with a more liberal perspective, somewhere YOU would feel comfortable...I think you or Brent has family there, right?)