So, if you are squeamish or don't want to hear TMI about my boob, discontinue reading here [hah! Like you don't already know scads about my boobs, but in any case...]
Two weeks ago I lifted up my breast for some reason and noticed this lumpy thing that looked kind of like a big zit on the side of my breast, beneath my line of sight. I thought that it looked weird, but figured it was a zit and would go away. I don't usually get zits there, and this didn't really have a zit head and wasn't painful, but it wasn't hot or sore so I figured it wasn't an infection and I would watch to make sure it went away. I didn't tell anyone except Brent about it, because I didn't want to freak anyone out. Anyone who hears 'lump' on 'breast' thinks cancer, so I figured I'd wait.
In a few days it seemed to shrink, and nothing ever erupted to the surface so I relaxed. Then a few days later it was bigger. And redder. And then it shrunk again. And then it got enormous! And painful! And hot and reddish purplish. And Tuesday I could see a large (nickle sized) mass of what looked like puss under several layers of skin, so I called my doctor. They couldn't get me in before next Tuesday, so I made an appointment for then. But I made plans to go to a walk in clinic in the meantime. Yesterday, however, I was scheduled to work a day shift and as a part time employee I am not eligible for paid sick days, so calling in sick to go see a doctor about my boob thing would mean I would make $0 and have to pick up an extra shift somewhere else--which is VERY tricky given our three kids and Brent's work schedule. So I went. And this morning I figured I would go to a walk in clinic. So I woke up and it still looked big and purple and red and painful, with pus under the skin. Then while breastfeeding Riley brushed it lightly, and the top popped off it and all this bloody pus poured out! SOOOOO DISGUSTING!!!!! I'm not going to a dirty, high traffic area walk in clinic with an open wound to a doctor I don't know, so I phoned my doctor's office and BEGGED them, and they fit me in today at eleven, which is in an hour. I think actually that it is an abcess. GROSS!
I went to have a shower and figured I'd bandage it to keep it dry, and now there is an ACTUAL HOLE in the side of my breast, about 2 mm across, and you can see the inside of my boob through it. Much of the puss has drained out but it is still sore. OMG. WTF. Every time I look at the HOLE IN MY BOOB I have to fight off an anxiety attack. I didn't realize an open wound on my breast would freak me out so much, but it does! I have a lot invested in the health and function of my breasts at this point in my life, I guess! The open wound thing is freaking me out.
Which is hilarious, because I have seen so many disgusting wounds in my 7 1/2 years as a paramedic. I've seen gangrene, black feet, maggots, ulcers down to the bone, weeping holes, flesh eating disease, abcesses, you name it. But when it is on my boob, I'm freaking out.
It's a small hole, really. And not much puss, really. And my breast is still making milk, and I don't have mastitis, or puss in my milk, or milk in my abcess (yet), or CANCER, so I should really be okay.
I guess I'll need some antibiotics, which puts me at risk for another breast yeast infection....yay....
But hooray for the existence of antibiotics when we need them, hey? Too bad i didn't go to the doc yesterday, antibiotics would probably have cleared it up without the hole and subsequent drainage!
(my breast doesn't look this bad)