But aren't I getting four hundred steps ahead of myself here? First of all, I might not need insulin. So then I can stay low risk, and I don't need to see an OB. Second of all, I might have a nice OB who believes in womens' right to choose and is willing to work with me instead of direct me. Third of all, even if I did have a nasty OB and a requisite for insulin, nobody is going to bully me into anything. My body, my baby, MY CHOICE. Period.
Part of my disappointment was a hidden desire to be one of those women who just have big babies but not gestational diabetes. Big babies can be within the parameters of normal, and their deliveries can remain low risk, despite everyone's fear to the contrary. Nobody likes being placed in an automatic box with everyone else and big baby mommas are no different. Some of us have gestational diabetes, and some of us have capable pelvises and roomy uteri and strong expulsion muscles and genetics for big babies. I wanted to be an example of the latter, for the sake of winning one for the Trust Womens' Bodies line of philosophy. You know? Instead I get to be an example of pathology. Nice.
One of the women I met at the breastfeeding counsellor's course I took last year had six children and was a huge natural birth and breastfeeding advocate, and she expressed several times how she wished so badly she could have given birth at home, but has a blood disorder that places her at higher risk for hemorrhage, so she's one of those rare examples of pathology too. Part of me wants to stomp my foot and yell, IT'S NOT FAIR!! So many women don't CARE how they give birth or whether they are low risk enough to deliver at home or have an empowering experience versus a hand-over-decision-making type of experience, and here I care muchos and my body fails me.
I know it's a bit hysterical and a bit narcissistic. I'm not saying it's rational, I'm explaining what was ringing in my head that first day I found out. It does seem a bit like a nasty trick from the universe, but on the other hand I wasn't all that surprised. I had a 9 and 10 lb baby the last 2 times. I'm only 5'1" and small, I have hypoglycemia, and my fasting sugars were high last winter before I got pregnant. It was the length of time between the test and notification of the results that led me to believe I didn't have it, so it took me a bit to wrap my mind BACK around having it.
Yesterday and today I feel a lot more calm and capable of tackling this. I talked to my cousin who also had it, and whose genetics and birth and parenting philosophies I share, and she had a bunch of advice for me that I was really grateful for. It is helpful for me emotionally to know someone who had it and delivered naturally, which is so important to me. And you know, she pointed out that as far as obstetrical complications go, this is a fairly minor one. It can be controlled, it's not premature labor, eclampsia, Cholestasis, and etc., and outcomes are excellent for babies born from GD moms whose blood sugars are well controlled. So the pathology is manageable.
Any and all advice from people with experience or education about GD is welcome. I do know the basics: 6 meals per day, pair carbohydrates with protein, eliminate refined carbohydrates and sugar, reduce fruit consumption, and avoid too much time passing between meals. And exercise.
I already eat well. Very little processed food, mostly homemade, whole grains, natural, plain, unadulterated whenever possible. But I add sugar to that. Or I did, until Thursday.
A complicating factor is those contractions. They like to come on when I exercise. Sigh.