-My daytime blood sugars are perfect. My morning blood sugars are asinine.
-Yesterday was the day from HELL. You know those days, where you drop and lose and smash and spill and your kids are ornery and you're ridiculously late for everything and your two year old poops his pants and it spills down his leg onto the coffee shop floor and you don't have any extra pants for him this is the ONE DAY you didn't bring extra pants and you take three kids to Costco by yourself to pick up one item and fight the crowds and stand in line only to realize, once your item is on the conveyer belt, that you only have money on your mastercard and Costco doesn't TAKE mastercard and you're already an hour late for that Bible Study homegroup thingy where you promised to bring that one item on the conveyer belt? Yeah, yesterday involved a lot of crying on my part.
-The day before was awesome; we went to a tree farm and cut down a tree, nobody pooped their pants all day and we moved the dog back home from gramma and grampa's where he was while we staged and sold our house. It was also spectacularly sunny.
-Today for no reason I woke up at 4 a.m. and couldn't get back to sleep
-I'm a wreck but I still went to water aerobics and the ladies there are pretty friendly: they all outweigh me by about 100 lbs and are at least 30 years older than me and they all kick my ass when it comes to water aerobics
-The kids' church concert was yesterday and they were all very cute: Riley and the other 2 year olds sang two songs and he did the actions only and had on a red sweater with a train on it and I think I really couldn't have made him cuter if I tried. Ayden had a speaking part in the play: he was a canucks hockey player which was very popular and he loved all the cheering for him. Matthew HATES anything theatrical which is hilarious because he's so theatrical in everyday life you'd think an opportunity to be on stage would be his Dream Come True but he hates to sing and gets bored with waiting so instead he sat on stage and stripped. Yes, I said stripped. Shoes, socks, hat, costume (he was a christmas tree ornament), christmas sweater, dress shirt: I think the pants were next but his sunday school teacher intercepted. HYsterical.
-As an aside I get the impression that the children's pastor at our church doesn't like Matthew much at all~it's just an impression I get from watching her interact with him when she doesn't know I'm there, it's subtle but she doesn't seem to *get* him and I feel frustrated that I want to but can't toss myself in front of everyone who might not *get* him in life and explain him to them so they can gain some insight and compassion and love him the way he deserves to be loved, fully and deeply in a way that celebrates his strengths and compensates for his childhood trauma, but what do you do? She's not a main character in his life so what do you do?
-My sister is married, people. This is weird.
-I'm feeling much less anxious about bonding with this baby when it comes, boy or girl, busy and hectic or not, after I posted about it on Mothers of Change. It's amazing how sometimes a worry just needs to be voiced and then it subsides.
This is not the case with my blood sugar readings.
-I'm tired. I'm so, so tired. A few nights ago Brent and I were in the living room: he was on the computer and I was reading a book on the couch and I fell asleep sitting up, and only woke up when the book crashed out of my hands onto the floor! I have chronic insomnia, friends. I don't know that I've ever fallen asleep sitting up before! At least not as an adult. It's the pregnancy combined with the shift working husband combined with the increased exercise to manage my diabetes combined with my two year old and having three kids. C'mon baby, just come...(by that I don't mean come early, I mean for time to hurry up and move so it can be mid February and I can give birth to her without worries)
Did you see that? I said her. I think about it as a she all the time.
-It's advent. That's about all I have time for in regards to advent. Noted. Plus the advent post I wrote on Tamie's blog, so I read the daily posts there for my daily dose of advent. I love advent! Next year I'll get creative and make the kids an advent calendar and stuff. On the list this year is making a gingerbread house from scratch with the kids, and making ornaments out of dough.