Saturday, February 26, 2011

Prelabour cranky pants?

I am grouchy. Snippy at my kids, angry at the world, impatient with my baby, and let me tell you: I will NEVER, EVER, EVER walk the Gauntlet of Rude Comments at my kids' school again. EVER. I mean it, because now my mom is here to stay and if I'm still pregnant next week, she will drop them off for me.

Every morning and every afternoon I DREAD the walk from the car to the kids' classrooms, because there are hordes of acquaintance moms who want to talk about the fact that I'M STILL FRICKPREGNANT, and ask me my due date AGAIN (I'm always vague and usually lie, this is probably part of the problem. If I just gave them an actual NUMERICAL DATE they would still comment but not ask about when I'm due again), and make pseudo sympathetic comments. But the thing is, I'm not actually impatient for this baby to arrive til its ready, unless eight to ten people in two minutes point out how pregnant I am! Even then it's PEOPLE who are impatient and not me.

Except for today. Last night I had more prelabour and I was pretty sure it was the real deal (for some reason both Ayden and Riley were born on Thursdays so I had something about Thursday floating around in my head), and I think I woke up today really grouchy about it NOT being the real deal even though I was severely relieved to have dodged the bullet of ALL THAT PAIN for another day: oh sure, natural birth is so great and all but lets be serious, NO IT'S NOT! Well, not from this end of the tunnel, anyways. Not so close. So hilarious. I'll be fine when I'm in it but at this point I'm all chicken shit and "I NEED AN EXIT STRATEGY!"
This post has a lot of caps locked letters. Sorry about that. Emotions get a bit extreme when one is this close to giving birth. I feel almost dizzy from the mood swings. And hot flashes. And sore boobs. And FEAR: this is my big one right now: my baby is too big. It won't come out. It can't come out. I just might be pregnant forever.

Anyways, I just went over to Rixa at Stand and Deliver and she's as cranky as I am! And as pregnant. Several people commented that it's probably the just-prior-to-labour mood swings. I hope so. Because if this baby gets any bigger I'm going to give birth to a six year old. And it really REALLY won't come out. Frickin nine pound four ounce 38 weeker: if you gained the normal 8 oz per week you're now 9 lbs 14 ounces and WTF? My vagina is as wide as a pencil. How are you supposed to fit? Couldn't you have thought of that when you were FRICKGROWING LIKE A 700 lb 4-H PUMPKIN?!


See, I told y'all I'm cranky pants. Gr.


Caryn Ouwehand said...


Okay, so all those nosey people can go F-off. I was big (and short torso'd) too throughout my pregnancy and always told people I was due in Feb so that people's mouths wouldn't drop open in disbelief at how big I was... but then when March came along, all I heard for 3 weeks was "Holy cow, you are still pregnant." I could have punched those people... every one of them.

Okay, in terms of the big baby thing. I am probably repeating myself, but at my 36 week ultrasound they said Silas was going to have a birth weight AROUND 11 lbs!... he came out at 8lbs 4 oz. Holy margin of error batman.

You have been sooooo diligent about watching your bloodsugars, so good about exersize, etc, etc, this baby willllllllllllll FIT out that pencil.

Through labour, remind yourself when the fear arises that you monitored and controlled your blood sugars moreso this time than with Riley, and who knows, maybe you had a touch of GD in his pregnancy, so therefore this baby logically will be smaller. Also remember during labour how Ultrasounds really do have a margin of error. For weight calculations they only take 3 measurements on the baby, head, chest, and femur. An ultrasound tech friend once told me that depending on the individual baby's proportions, the margin of error is realistically more close to 20%.

You can do this. I am going out on a limb here and saying from my experience that the ultrasound is overestimating size. That baby is going to be 9lbs or less. Remember what the doc said about "not thinking that the baby was too big..." Hang off those words babe, that man feels babies in tummies all day long.

Plus, since it's a girl she will be nicer to your vagina a therefor smaller.
I'm going to pray my pants off in the next few days that positive thoughts fill your mind.

You can do this. You totally can.

Okay, I am done now...

Caryn Ouwehand said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Caryn Ouwehand said...

Wow reading over what I just wrote, I apparently had a brain fart... Silas came out at 8lbs 10oz.

Oh, and the above deletion is me because I can't spell. I put that I "had a brian fart."

Brian's farts have nothing to do with any of this.

Anonymous said...

You can do this! And I vote for your due date so he can share a birthday with me ;) I've been wondering how things were going for you and thought I'd check up - you'll be there soon!
Marie (LLL)

Louise Chapman said...

Mel, wasn't Riley 10lbs 2oz? Maybe I'm wrong but I remember him being big and you did it! I think you're right that once you're in it, you'll be okay and not so worried. Go Team Vose!!

melissa said...

thanks, lovelies. You're all wonderful. Yes, Riley was 10/2, I have no idea why I suddenly think that this baby won't fit!

I know the margin of error is 20% but y'know....fear....

I'm being too impatient at this point! I don't know what my problem is! Baby is cooking, and will come out when it's ready, but I'm all GET OUT NOW BEFORE YOU GAIN 3 MORE POUNDS!!!!

lori said...

thinking of you

nodding in recognition of your fears

sighing at the school parents

laughing at your words (you really are the most hilarious when you're all worked up)

and most importantly -
knowing it's gonna be okay