-Remember my pica with Riley's pregnancy? I just realized that I didn't have pica with Amarys. Isn't that weird? I had it with Ayden, too. Maybe it's the boy vs. girl mixture for me, in my body, that makes me want to eat laundry soap and deoderized kitchen garbage bags...
Or maybe this time what was lacking last time wasn't the case [I think pica has been linked with iron deficiency, if I remember correctly]
-My boys have a cold, and Amarys caught it. So far, no fever, and no difficulty sleeping or eating, but she has a cough. It sounds almost like a croupy cough, so I took her to the doctor today. She said it is upper respiratory only so she's just fine. I would have taken her back to the care provider who knows her best, my midwife/naturopath, but because it's beyond the six week postpartum mark, her care is no longer covered and I would pay out of pocket. I don't mind paying out of pocket~we have an appointment for June for well baby follow up at three months of age and that will cost us, but this week we are dirt poor (more on that later) and I was pretty sure a follow up appointment would be necessary, so that means more cost. I was pretty sure my regular doc would be just fine for a cough, so we went that route.
-I'm realizing that I make very few recipes without cheese. Or sour cream. Or milk of some kind. I'm also realizing that I thought I had it tough with other kids' dairy intolerance, but this little girl is challenging that idea. I literally cannot eat a handful of cheddar fishy crackers without paying for it later. Well, Amarys pays with pain, we pay with listening to her scream. Oh. My. GOSH, the screaming. Broccoli is the worst, then dairy. Then onions. Then garlic.
-So Brent's work paid us less than half our paycheque this week. That was nice. It was because of him taking 6 weeks parental leave, his regular pay was interrupted when he returned to work. We had no warning until last Wednesday when I double checked (thankfully) before going grocery shopping and discovered, "Wow! We only have enough money for our mortgage payment and car payment, and nothing left over for groceries or gas! For TWO WEEKS!" Thank heaven for family, willing to share ground beef and hams.
-Matthew's speech just improved by a huge leap. It's funny with speech pathology; you don't notice it's better until it slips back again for some reason. This afternoon he was distracted by the television while he was trying to tell me something, and he stuttered pretty severely. That's when I realized he has been free of stuttering for awhile! Not completely, but nearly normal. He has also suddenly become a good eater!?! He is going through a growth spurt and has a bigger appetite, and has suddenly tuned into his hunger cues for the first time in his ENTIRE LIFE! He ate THREE helpings of one of my casseroles recently, and will clear his plate pretty regularly now. WOW! This is HUGE! We are pretty stunned, because I had pictured myself spoon feeding an eighteen year old a few times, there...
He is also remarkably helpful lately.
I think he's going to make a remarkably interesting adult, as I've mentioned here before. But I also think he's going to be one of those teenagers we all love; cheerful and friendly, funny, charming, outgoing, and entertaining to be around. Charisma. That's what this kid has in spades.
And he eats with his hands and talks with his mouth full CONSTANTLY. And farts on demand. At the dinner table. Le sigh.
-Amarys weighs 5.4 Kilos now. As of today.
-It is a new experience for me to have a two year old and an infant, and I have to say, it's taxing. Every time I turn around someone needs me. Not just wants to interact with me, but needs me in a way that requires me physically. Amarys has a constant stream of needs, not just your average infant needs, but some pretty intense personality, sensitive body, and particular emotional needs which draw comfort from me, mostly. She loves her dad and brothers, but when she's upset she wants me. She's upset a lot.
And when she's not upset, Riley needs me. And often when she is. It's intense.
We make it through okay, I just feel sooooo tired by the end of the day. My saving grace is that my baby sleeps so miraculously. Eleven hours at night, regularly.
-Um, game seven just went into sudden death overtime. HOLY CRAP, talk about INTENSE! If you don't know what I'm talking about, you don't deserve to know. [There's going to be a repeat of the Vancouver Riots if the Canucks lose tonight, I'm sure of it]
-I found out today that latest research is showing a strong link between inflammation and mood disorders, including post partum depression! And that the omega 3 fish oils combat inflammation, which is at least part of how they work [and have worked so well for me for two years]. SO interesting! Inflammation has been implicated in so many illnesses, including cancer, heart disease, auto immune diseases, and now mental illness.
-Riley grabbed Ayden's violin this afternoon and slammed it into the furniture, breaking it in several places. We RENT this violin from Long and McQuade, dudes. Then a few minutes after putting the bridge back together and trying to make it playable, Brent found Ayden and Riley wrestling on the bed with the violin right next to them. OMG. There IS such a thing as justifiable homicide, right? Is it still considered infanticide if your kids are no longer infants?
-I love my kids. Babies are so wildly intense, and two year olds so CUTE, and school aged kids so remarkably smart and brilliant and funny and interesting to talk to...it's just all so great. Every stage. Even with broken violins and constant scrapping. I'm so blessed.
-That being said, I'm getting better at feeling settled about the idea of being done having babies. This is so hard for me; some days I tell random strangers we might have five, and other days I state firmly that we're done. I love babies. I love intense experiences. And giving birth and caring for tiny babies is about as intense as it gets!
-Sunday evening we had a nerdy night; Brent and some nerds went out to a pub and the girls gathered at Torie's house to visit. I had to bring all my kids, and it was a royal effing gong show. ONE of the four actually went to sleep, and the other ones interrupted me constantly and got exponentially more ridiculous the more tired they got, until finally Amarys was choking on her own spit she was screaming so loud, Riley was wailing, Ayden was flailing around in this way he gets whenever he has to pee but won't admit it, and I was sweating and wanting to cry. It was nearly a waste of time, since I didn't get to visit much at all, but at least I showed up I guess. Finally at 10:30 I texted Brent. At 11:00 he came back and rescued me. I still haven't recovered.
-My yoga studio cancelled the mom and baby yoga class they offer. Bummer.
-Having a girl is pretty cool. On the one hand, there are so many fun accessories! Hair bows and socks and tights and skirts and sweaters...
And on the other hand, it feels sort of gross. Like my baby is an accessory herself. Like beauty means too much. Like external aesthetic is of high emphasis from day one. Like an objectification of an infant.
But then, the accessories are so pretty! And I've been waiting so long to buy those little hair bows...
It must be about balance, and emphasis. Its okay to love pretty, and to celebrate party dresses, and it's okay also to be mistaken for a boy because you're dressed in yellow, or to hang out in your brother's blue onesie with "I'd Rather Be Naked" on the front.