I can handle blood, but I don't do toenail clippings.
Brain matter is okay but vomit? GROSS.
Poop? No biggie. Seeing people all foamy at the mouth while they brush their teeth? DISGUSTING.
My particular vomity aversion is scalps.
I don't like looking at them, I don't like thinking about them, and I REAAAAAAALLY hate smelling them. I know. I'm weird. But imagine how many times I've had to stare at and simultaneously
So, tonight I decided to tackle Amarys' cradle cap and it was probably the grossest thing I have ever done to one of my kids. I've cleaned mountains of poop [including once when Matthew took his poopy diaper off and spread it over 700 square feet of laminate floor in our downstairs....kitchen, hallway, livingroom....I don't remember what I was doing that allowed him the time and freedom to spread it so far, but I DO remember how it was dried up stuck to the floor in some spots, and all smooshy and wet in others?!!!]. I've cleaned up SO MUCH vomit. Pee. Blood. Flapping skin owies, slivers, teeth through lips, Matthew's tongue nearly bitten all the way off [I posted that story sometime this past year but I'm not sifting through a bajillion posts for that one, sorry--it was a gooder, though], diaper rash so bad it bleeds, pus filled eyes, vomit and diarrhea at the same time in multiple kids....
YOU NAME IT, I'VE CLEANED IT UP.
But this was grosser.
I soaked her head in olive oil and a few drops of lavender essential oil by rubbing it on her head and letting it sit for half an hour. Then I took a soft toothbrush to it, and scraped off the HUGE CHUNKS OF SCALP that kept breeding MORE HUGE CHUNKS OF SCALP and it was getting stuck in her hair, and huge piles of baby fine hair were stuck in the toothbrush and
OH MY GOSH IT WAS BLOODY DISGUSTING!!!!!
I am shuddering while I write this, and I feel all nauseous and I think I'll just leave her cradle cap alone from now on, because no one ever died of CRADLE CAP, but I think I JUST MIGHT DIE if I have to go through that again.
It was like scrubbing a bald old man's scalp with a tooth brush and getting bits of hair and sluffing entire chunks of skin off with the toothbrush and suddenly you realize HIS HEAD IS ROTTEN AND MAYBE HE'S DEAD AND OMG ITS SO GROSS YOU MIGHT DIE.
It was JUST LIKE THAT.