Tuesday, October 23, 2012


I'm sorry it has been so long since I posted.  And even longer since I wrote something interesting.  I'm okay! Just busy.

We got a kitten!  She's so cute.  Her name is Sasha and she is 8 weeks old.  We brought her home on Saturday.  Photos to come...
(I've determined I'm really a cat person.  No offense to dogs).

I gave our rabbit a bath today.  HOMYGOSH was that ever high on the list of disgusting things I've done in my life.  His poop gets matted in his fur.  Let's leave it at a tub with two inches of poopy soup and a thumping rabbit.  =S  Matthew wanted to bring Panbeh to school for show and tell, and he also wanted the poop washed off, first.  Moms are superheros.

I'm still job hunting.  Still broke.  I got called back for testing for a police dispatch job, so fingers crossed it works out.  Also still applying for other stuff.

Amarys has developed a hate on for the carseat; she loses her shit like I've never seen a toddler LOSE HER SHIT, on random days for no apparent reason, when we put her in it.  She gets hoarse.  She really loses control, and if we pull over (which we do when she loses control because that's just frightening for her) she calms down, has a break, and then loses her shit again when we put her back in it.
Because I really need this in my life.
Because I can totally work around it and just never drive anywhere in a vehicle (!!!!!!!!?????????!??)

I've come up with a creative solution, though.  Toddlers love choices.  Amarys ESPECIALLY loves choices, since organizing her little environment is pretty important to her.  So I've installed our extra carseat in the van, in our final remaining empty seat, and each time we load, she can choose where to sit.  Awesome pants.  So far, so good, but with Amarys anything is possible and sometimes it takes five or six times of her CHANGING HER BLOODY MIND to get her settled.  But at least there's no screaming.  Holly Fook that was stressful.  I'm pretty sure the rest of us have suffered some hearing damage from that scenario.  Dead serious, that girl can SCREAM.  And I was worried about her body.  She was pulling against the belts so hard and flipping her body around so much I was worried she would get bruises or hurt her internal organs.

I thought I was so experienced as a parent.  And then God gave me an Amarys. O_o

My sister moved far away.  That sucks.  I miss her, I miss my nephew, I miss her better half, I miss them all. Not that I saw them more often when they lived closer; it was the illusion that I COULD see them that reassured me.  Although now we are nearing the end of Brent's committed time in Surrey, so we are ramping up our campaign to move to a smaller community in a more rural area.  We applied for nearly every small town or remote posting between here and the Yukon border (and even several North of the Yukon border). Our top pics would be anywhere on Vancouver Island, and anywhere in the Okanagan.  But now, because my sister moved there, we also applied for Fernie (on the BC/Alberta border).  And also the village where my brother lives, with my niece and sister in law.
We want out.  We want financial breathing room.  We want room for our kids to free range a little more freely.  We want smaller town.  We want adventure.  We are wide open for any possibility =)

In other news, I got a crock pot.  You can't see it, but I'm DANCING because i love this thing so much.  On nights where the kids are busy with activities and I'm driving to and fro, it will save us all from eating at 7:30.  I LOVE IT!  And it cooks a roast very very nicely.  YUMMY.  It's huge, since there are so many of us, (7 quarts), and I did scalloped potatoes in it the other day for Brent's birthday?  AWESOME!!!  And you know when you do a big family dinner with extended family and you plan the different stuff but there's always a mad dash at the end, and oven space is at a premium?  This pot helps in a very huge way.  You do one dish ahead of time, set the temperature for low and the timer for however many hours, and it cooks for you.  It clicks automatically to warm mode when the cook time is up.  I got it at Costco and it is VERY BORING to include in a blog post but I love it that much that I don't care.  =)

Matthew is doing AMAZING at school.  There are a lot of caps in this post.  But he really is!  His teacher said at our IEP meeting, "This boy I'm reading about in the reports from previous years is not the attentive, kind little boy in my class."  Yup, yup she did.  I'm no longer the parent of a bully.  And academically his learning assistance teacher said, "I see no reason why we can't have him reading at grade level by the end of the year (that is HUGE folks, since in September he was tested at early grade one level.  That's nearly three years of catch up in ONE YEAR).  I said to his principal, "Wow, what a testament for treatment for ADHD."  And you know what he said?  With 100% sincerity, he looked me in the eye and said, "It's a testament for your parenting.  This kid knows where he belongs.  He knows he is loved."  And that right there?  The antidote for all my fear, all my anxiety, all my anger and OCD and hyperworry and pain since the day we brought Matthew home.  That's my bottom line, that's what makes me tick as a parent, that's my success.
I will be writing a post dedicated to ADHD thus far, but that's the goods for now.

Ayden has been diagnosed with anxiety.  We are giving him iron supplements, vitamin D, and fish oils, and working through the Worry Dragons book and workbook.  He's really excited about the Worry Dragons, it totally helps him feel empowered and understood.  Fifty nine thumbs up!  He's doing really well, also.  He loves school, loves swimming lessons, loves Ukelele lessons (!!! Who knew?), and ran cross country on the track team in September.

Riley is pretty awesome, too.  He's being rather disobedient and precocious (which gets under my skin) but he's also learning his letters at school, and is in that cute, awesome, totally annoying stage where he wants to know "How you spell" EVERYTHING, but doesn't know all his letters so you wind up writing them out and he copies them.  He's also Amarys' best buddy.  He loves to draw.  He loves clothes.  He loves pink and purple and dirt and tractors and garbage trucks and sparkly things and my little ponies and legos.  Same as always.  He has trouble saying goodbye when we drop him off at preschool, so we came up with a system: we drop him off, stay a minute or two, and leave before the bell rings.  He also has a photo of me inside his lunch box, so he can look at it if he misses me (he picked out the photo).  Awesome pants.

Amarys is... well, she's Amarys.  See the above carseat fiasco and multiply it by everything she does.  O_o  Can't wait til she's two!!!  No sarcasm there.

That's it.  I'm off to make bread.  I hate making bread.  Goodbye.  =)


melissa said...

The bit about the principal's comment to you made me cry, Melissa. You have worked SO hard to support Matthew and you super deserve that praise!

I really feel for you with the car seat hate. Your solution is genius, and makes me wish I had a bigger car! Yesterday I was parallel parked with Annabelle's side of the car facing the street. She had taken a spill the previous day that left her with a pretty nasty fat lip. So I was the obviously frustrated mom trying to get a screaming, flailing, bruised toddler into my car as others rolled slowly by. Not cool.

Louise Chapman said...

Dude, move to Fernie! So gorgeous. Then we'll come visit you:) Keep us posted on the job searching!

literal mama said...

PLEEEEEEEAAAAAASSSSSSSSEEEEE move to the island!!!! I need a friend. Everyone is leaving me. It will only be a bit cheaper, but it would be awesome if you were just a short drive away or even a long drive away. Factor out the ferry and we would see so much more of each other. PLEASE!!!! I am so lonely :( xoxoxoxoxox

Tonya said...

Glad you posted! I've had more than one child scream about the car seat. One day with Liza, I stopped more than once. The final time I stopped because I had visions of throwing her out of the car window. So I put her in the very back bench of our 12 passenger van (yes for The Beast every once in a while!) and turned her around backwards. She continued screaming until she was very hoarse, but it wasn't right behind my head.

Seth seems to go through anxiety phases. (He's in one now.) Wonder if it has something to do with the age? Post more about it for me!!

tamie marie said...

Oh Mel, I miss your posts so much when you are too busy to post, and then I just eat them up when you do post. Yay! Thanks for writing all this. I love reading about your life, even the crock pot. I've been reading your life for so long that your daily reality is actually a part of my internal reality. I pray for you often, even though I don't know if I believe in God or prayer, and I think about you and your family often, and send you tons of love. Thanks so much for the update. Keep letting us know how the job search is going.

And yes, how Matthew is doing IS a testament to your parenting. And the car seat genius solution is a testament to your parenting.

You rock. I love you.

tamie marie said...

P.S. Don't you think Brent could get a post in San Francisco? I do. And it is the obvious solution to everything.

melissa v. said...

Oh my GOSH I love you guys!!! Thank you for commenting, and for reading. It really makes my day!

@Melissa, thank you for saying we have worked hard to support Matthew, that was an awesome moment for me. I cried a bit.
I feel you on the carseat story--ohhhhh so not fun =( Sorry you're in the same boat!! If I think of another solution that fits a smaller car, I'll let you know...

@Louise, YES!! But you will come visit us anywhere, right???? ;)

@Sara, I'm sorry everyone is leaving, and I would LOOOOVE to live closer, definitely!!! Even Duncan/Ladysmith/Campbell River; heck, even freaking PORT ALICE would be awesomeness.... ((hugs)) miss you.

@Tonya, that right there is a testament to the awesomeness of the 12 passenger van! It redeemed itself. Woah nelly.
And I will write more about anxiety in kids--I'm learning tons so now that I know you would like to hear, I will process it by writing it out here. xo. You're awesome, and I love your FB hiatus because you're HERE INSTEAD!! Lol!

@Tamie, I miss yours when you take a break, too. I'm so glad you don't find even crock pot stuff boring, and I wish you lived closer!! Thank you for your prayers they mean more than you can imagine, and I pray for you all the time, too.
Thanks for the parenting props, it means so much because even when I feel on my game? I don't have very strong confidence in it. It's just a hard job with many variables and no "BEST" way or grading system. It helps to have supportive peeps in my corner.


And San Francisco would be awesome pants!!! Although all that sex positive stuff has me weirded out LOL!