Thanks to all of you who commented on my two previous posts. I ♥ you, thanks for rooting so hard for my Matthew and for me as his figuring-it-out-as-I-go mom. I have to make a small correction since report cards came home on Friday: Matthew isn't reading at grade level yet like I thought, but he's drastically improved. We're shooting for grade level by the end of the year.
I went snowboarding two Mondays in a row (night skiing on Seymour) the past two weeks. The ski season is essentially over so I had to get in a few nights before it ended, despite it being on the same night as my al-anon group. Who doesn't love skipping out on your own mental health to go SNOWBOARDING??!! My whole life I've been responsible. So I'm learning to be a little bad sometimes. Go ahead and laugh, because I'm irreverent, but it doesn't mean I'm BAD. It just means I have a potty mouth. I still GO TO CHURCH for godsakes. That is a metaphor for a lot of really hilarious parts about me that don't fit together.
Anyways: SNOWBOARDING. The first week I went and it was fabulous and especially so because I brought Ayden and we went with my best friend and her 9 year old, so I was carving down the hill beside my kid and I thought It doesn't get much better than this. And it doesn't.
We did four runs on the short hill at Seymour and then the kids were game to try the longer hill which has a quad chair and longer runs. So we get off at the top and three of us have snowboards so we have to stop, sit down, fasten our boots back to our boards, and then go. Ayden is doing the ski equivalent of pacing: YOU GUYS TAKE SOOOOO LONG! With a snarky smile on his face, and the second we're ready he takes off in front. We went down the hill and lo and behold Ayden wasn't there. Weird. We waited and paced and went back to the first hill and checked out the magic carpet... No Ayden. After about 10 minutes I flagged down a liftie and he alerted the other lifties and called me a ski patroller. We waited and paced and filled out forms, etc, for another 45 minutes until finally a couple showed up with Ayden in their wake: he had gotten only partway down the hill, came to a divergence and didn't know which way to go. He figured he'd wait for us; we must have flown past him and not noticed (thinking he's ahead of us), and he waited and waited!!! Poor kid. He didn't know that every path on a ski mountain leads to the bottom of the chairlift, and that runs will close at night if they're unsafe. So he didn't really know what to do.
I was trying not to panic. The hill has only two runs down from the quad at night so I knew he couldn't be TOO lost, but what if he got caught in a tree well, or smacked his head on the ice? Gah. I was pacing. He had the entire ski patrol out in full force, lifties with his description on the look out, and a panicked mother. He knew we'd be looking for him too. You know what he said when we found him? We wasted so much ski time! Stinker. He loves to ski. He cried when I said we'd have to go home soon because the mountain closes at 10.
The nice couple that found him told him about all runs winding up at the bottom of the chair, and about closed runs being blocked off, so that was great. We talked about what to do next time if we get separated again, and mostly I just didn't want him to get turned off skiing from that bad experience. NO DANGER THERE. Sheesh. I earn my grey hairs, peeps.
The following week I went snowboarding again because I'm a rebel like that, and the snow was deep and fun, but hard work to carve in. I almost fell once, put my hand down to stop myself, and jammed my thumb into a mogul at high speed, hyperextending it backwards pretty far. RIP! Yowch. I was pretty sure it was broken but it turns out it's just a bad sprain. I went to the doctor and got an x-ray and everything, which is what I should have done last year when I injured my knee (which still hurts and swells and now my doc says I probably tore my miniscus and that my ACL is unsteady so it was probably slightly torn too. I need an MRI which takes a year in Canada so yippee, two years of pain before I know anything. Anyways I learned my lesson; I should have gone to the doctor the day after that injury but I didn't and that's probably part of why my doctor held off on the MRI at that time, because she didn't see how bad it was when it happened. She saw it nine weeks later when I sheepishly went in with, I injured it nine weeks ago, left it to swell to twice its size and limited mobility to heal on its own for seven weeks, then I went snowboarding on it again and it looks like I have a fluid tumor on the side of my kneecap now. Oops.
It hurts to type. That's why I've been quiet. Sorry =)
Also I've been busy. I do work for an internet company that does SEO marketing, website improvements, and social media management and suddenly I had more hours in Feb/March so I've been busy with that, too. I've been doing that work a few hours here and there since last year but only had consistent work since Feb. Which is amazing because I actually made enough money to buy paint to paint the interior of our house so we can put it on the market. Whew. Three boys and one small girl make a lot of marks on the walls in two short years.
Aside from working and doing all the majillions of tasks that come with having four small kids, I've been going to Bible study weekly, Al-anon meetings sort of weekly, and counselling weekly. I also have book club once a month and some friends stuff, and zumba classes... Last week I looked around and realized that for the first time since Amarys was born I feel like I have my life back. Ayden it took a year for me to feel that way. Matthew, it took about 8 months. Riley, 6 months. Amarys? 2 years.
LET THIS BE A LESSON TO YOU. Three is a nice number of children. (JOKING. I love my high needs princess).
Spring break is upon us, and I would like to say that if you have no money and it is raining, spring break sucks eggs. Saturday I'd been up for only four hours and I was all I'M GOING TO KILL SOMEONE IF I HAVE TO LIVE THROUGH ONE MORE MINUTE OF SPRING BREAK. There's something about rain and being trapped in 900 square feet of upstairs with massive amounts of pumped up boy energy and nowhere to expend it that just makes me INSANE. Call me crazy, but that's not fun. And all my effing facebook friends are in stupid places like Disney or Hawaii or Turkey. The radio station had this fabulous contest sending people to Europe to see my favourite band and we tried so hard for tickets but failed and I was all EVERYONE ELSE SUCKS BECAUSE HOW ELSE WILL I EVER GET TO EUROPE EXCEPT WINNING A TRIP THERE and traveling is my #1 favourite thing to do in the entire world besides be with my family.
This week however the sun has been shining and two of my kids are in a free (YES FREE) soccer camp put on by the township so things are looking up from Saturday.
I went to the Annual Breastfeeding Education Day at Douglas College on March 9th. I love lactation. I'm so passionate about it, I think it's what I want to "do" with my life. I've applied to become a La Leche League Leader so I can start a group in our new town when we move, and I'd like to apply it towards maybe a lactation consultant certification, or a Masters degree in something to do with maternal/infant health, and especially infant nutrition. I love all things birth and breastfeeding but these days I feel the MOST passionate about the latter. I know I've gotten jump started in different directions before (ie, midwifery) so who knows where this will take me. But for now, I'm starting the leadership process and taking it from there. So fun! And I'm still a doula. So I still get my birth high from time to time. This year's Breastfeeding Education Day was about anthropology and breastfeeding, specifically breastfeeding and culture, the biological norms for lactation in higher primates which affect our understanding of how long we would breastfeed our kids if culture had no influence on duration of lactation (between 2.5 and 7 years, but most likely 5-6 years, based on a number of factors including maturity at birth, age of first menstruation in females, life expectancy, length of infancy, length of gestation, etc), babywearing and cosleeping, and infants and crying. VERY INTERESTING.
I met one online friend there, Amber Strocel from Strocel.com (she interviewed me for Mothers of Change last month sometime), and one of my other online friends her her photo in the presentation itself. I facebooked her: Dionna, I saw your boobs in action today. She was all, ARE YOU OUTSIDE MY WINDOW? She lives in the Eastern U.S. Ha ha. No, she was involved in that photo shoot for Time Magazine on attachment parenting/extended breastfeeding (not so extended, it turns out, according to anthropology, but whatever. Culture is weird) and my presenter was talking about that Time fiasco.
Remember when I blogged about how my picture of tandem nursing Amarys and Riley was involved in a Facebook protest? And how it got deleted and banned and the Feminist Breeder had her account suspended for several days, then they apologized and put it back, and then it got deleted again? The Feminist Breeder went subscription only recently. It was really sudden and I kinda felt bummed. I don't really believe in subscription blogs (although I'm not totally against them, whatever floats your boat), I'm not about to take my hard earned cash and not buy my kid shoes so I can read the TFB's admittedly fascinating posts, even at only a dollar a month. I felt left out. I still do. Like I was a part of a community that went all exclusive and didn't include me, which is weird and only based on the fact that I offered that photo, got thanked, it went up, and down, and up, and down, and TFB never responded to me again after that. I felt kind of a little bit used. Like my photo was provocative enough for her to use and she knew it would be the most controversial one in the entire campaign, but then when she went private I was out of the loop. I could be in the loop if I wanted? But I'm not big on paying to read blogs so I didn't opt for looping.
It's fine. I don't have enough time to keep up with my friend blogs let alone feminist breeder blogs anyways. I just feel kind of sad, I really liked Gina and felt like a part of her following and whatnot. I didn't often participate in discussion or leave many comments but I'd been reading for years. Suddenly left out in the cold. Meh.
Also: my baby turned two. I know you guys know that because i posted about it but I'm a bit traumatized. She's so amazing. They're all amazing and smart and sweet and OMG SO ANNOYING. One of my tweeps posted today:
My kids are being such assholes today. I'm thinking of letting them play Hunger games. I hope the little one wins, he's my favourite.
And this is why I love twitter. Where else can you get away with shit like that? So funny. She also said:
We'll never divorce. Neither one of us wants to get stuck with the kids. This message brought to you by March Break.
BWAHAHAHAHAHAAA! Shit gets real on Twitter. Because if you can't get real in 140 characters why even be alive? Why even try.
I gotta go to bed lovelies. Exes and ohs.